Since i was young, I’ve always been creative. My mind was constantly moving, my hands always needed to do something. Anything that would allow me to express myself made me feel amazing. From studios to sketch pads, it just came natural. For so long I’ve thought about blogging. Meeting people and opening the doors to my soul. Today, i finally decided to stop procrastinating. Welcome to my blogging journey.
Often we hide who we truly are to the world, for fear of being rejected. We wear our mask all day long until we get home and feel comfortable enough to truly be ourselves. Through the years I’ve noticed that people hide the most in relationships. Yes, IN RELATIONSHIPS. I’m sure you’re thinking, why would anyone hide in a relationship?? It’s quite simple, we fear that if we TRULY expose who we are, that they’ll leave. That our truth may cause the relationship to end, so instead we pretend to be everything but who we really are deep down inside. Doing all of this with hopes that the relationship will last. And newsflash IT DEFINITELY WILL END. One day, something is going to happen, causing you to forget that this “thing” you normally do isn’t suppose to surface and you’ll completely forget. That “thing” will then cause your partner to question where that came from, thus questioning your character. Being that to you, your behavior is normal, you’ll feel offended or attacked. Not realizing that these actions, emotions, or words could’ve been accepted in the beginning as normal. Instead you pretended to be someone who doesn’t act in such a manner, that now you’re not being “yourself.” Now, am i saying that change is bad? Absolutely not. If someone is helping you become a better person, cherish them. They love you even knowing your ugly truth. That love is amazing and if you accept it wholeheartedly, your relationship will blossom. Losing who you are, for the sake of the relationship, is thee worst change ever. It’s not worth sacrificing your happiness or emotions. Waking up and masking who you are will only end in destruction. You will begin to despise them, you’ll hate yourself for faking emotions and interest. You’ll wonder why you didn’t love yourself enough to show the world who you truly were and why you didn’t value yourself enough. Wake up and accept yourself for who you are, those who can’t, don’t deserve YOU. Remove the mask and live life, COMPLETELY.
We all have pet peeves, you know, those little things that drive us crazy. I figured I’d share a few of mine.
- Being ignored- This alone drives me insane, especially when people can hear me but act as if they didn’t. Or when I send a message and receive no reply.
- Hypocrites- DON’T TELL ME WHAT NOT TO DO, THEN DO IT (inhales)
- Dirty homes/Bad Hygiene- Cleaning up is very important in my household. Good hygiene is a must, no one likes B.O
- Smacking while chewing- This makes my skin crawl, it’s so easy to close your mouth and chew.
- Parents who groom themselves but not their children- Your child comes first, you can look homeless, your child should not
- When people don’t make eye contact while talking to me- It’s respectful to look at the person talking to you. Looking off into your phone or space will make me feel as if you’re disrespecting me.
When you think of volcanoes, what comes to mind? Ash, smoldering lava, danger, science experiments? Most picture the natural disaster and how it destroys everything in it’s path. For moments in time, it builds and builds until finally erupting. The outside is so beautiful to look at, so calm and intriguing. While inside it’s rather scary, dangerous and powerful. So many people admire the silent volcano before eruption, yet run at the slightest rumble made. Bringing me to realize that volcanoes aren’t just natural disasters. People are volcanic, I’ve learned over the years that we share the same quality as volcanoes do. On the outside we can seem very approachable, yet enraged internally. Things that bother us begin to build and build until finally we explode. Causing harm to those in our path, with what seems like no control at all. Spewing our powerful words at those who may not have caused this reaction. Yet we destroy them solely because they’re in our path. Because after suppressing emotions for so long, we lose control. The once beautiful volcano becomes blackened.
If you had one wish, what would you wish for? Most would say 1 million dollars, some would say superpowers, and other’s wouldn’t know. I honestly would want all of the above. 1 million dollars could fix any financial problems I may have. Superpowers would be absolutely amazing, flying anywhere, teleporting, endless strength and being highly favored. Simply the best wishes ever right? It should be an easy pick right? Well for me I’m torn between complete happiness and not caring at all. Crazy right? Because no amount of money could satisfy you if there’s a void inside. Well for me, most people who don’t care, seem happy even with nothing. While those who are truly happy, see the beauty in everything. Idk, what would you choose if you had 1 wish?
Beware of those who like you
Yet hate to see you succeed
Cheering for your downfall
Although they’re on your team
Laughter crosses their faces
Good times is what it seems
Disgusted by your happiness
Upset by how you lead
Greed rules an evil mind
For things you have they lack
Keep your third eye open
For knives will enter through the back
Take me back to those days, where confusion was foreign. Things didn’t cause awareness, there was no need for alarm. Take me back to those days, were happiness was known. People didn’t question the structure, because the foundation was strong. Take me back, just for a moment. I was so happy and unbothered. I was smiling just because. Heartbeat so melodic. Take me back to those days, when you were focused on me, when yin was yang, 10-03. Take be back to those days, I’m hoping that soon you’ll get here. Take me back to those days, for my heart still lives there.